This Is Either an Apple, or This is an Apple by Martin Willitts Jr.
Based on “This Is Not an Apple” by René Magritte, 1964 An angry sun is an apple. An apple that is angry at the sun
is despised by all other apples. Despise the apple for being what it is,
it is not what it could be. Some days, it can become an orange or an orangutan, simply by misspelling. Magic is not that simple and neither are spelling bees. It is pointless to use an apple when bowling. Apples are useful in baseball
for dramatic home run splats. Apples wear top hats and fake beards
on Lincoln’s birthday. Apples tried hang-gliding and bruised easily. It cost them an arm and a leg, which was horrible considering they did not have an arm or a leg to lose. One apple tried to be the red on a traffic light. Another read a book about traffic lights. Another took a traffic light to a horoscope reading. They resent any reference to an Adam’s apple. They think it is sexist. However, they do brighten-up when compared to Eve’s breasts. An apple cannot be whole after being eaten,